Hello! Guess what? You’re going to be dead soon. Okay, well, not super soon, but it’s only a matter of time. Barring any accidents or early-onset diseases, you have around 72.5 years to live your life. But what if you wanted to pass along your wisdom to future generations? Let’s face it: most people won’t live long enough to experience the Singularity. In fact, the majority of people alive today will be dead long before advances in artificial intelligence and bionanotechnology usher in a new era of infinite consciousness and the digitalization of personhood. TSFFEEATCOPO has created the Infinite Time Capsule project to allow you to share a message with the future. If you’d like to participate in this one-of-a-kind opportunity, visit: infinitetimecapsule.com

Project Assistance Needed:

Visit the site and contribute to the project. Oh, and visit your local Apple store and navigate to the site on every iPad in the joint.


Infinite Life Extension. Digital Preservation of Personhood. Genome Decryptification and Transcendence. This is the main thrust of our research, and in order to better understand the purpose of our foundation, you can read Baron von Wolfgang’s personal message, or watch the orientation video. Benjamin Franklin famously said that “nothing is certain, except death and taxes.” The Spacewalkers Foundation is looking to prove Mr. Franklin wrong. Well, wrong about the death part at least. No amount of quantum research has shown that tax evasion is possible. Unless you’re a Columbian drug lord. Or Wesley Snipes. And no matter how much we love Narco-Soccer and the Blade movies, we can’t recommend either of those life paths. TSFFEEATCOPO is about to change the world. Are you in?

Project Assistance Needed:

A) Internships currently available. Apply by phone or sign up online here.
B) Help spread the word by connecting your friends to our primitive 21st Century Social Media pages here and here.


Scientists have confirmed that the Earth is singing. Humming. Conducting. Although imperceptible to the human ear, Earth is executing an “exceptionally quiet symphony,” twisting “in circles in rock across the upper echelons of the planet, almost like dozens of lazy hurricanes.” While the origins of the planet’s humming remain a mystery, one thing is certain: music is a primal, inspirational, evolutionary force that guides and directs our lives. The Spacewalkers Foundation is looking to hire one full-time employee for our open position of Director, Sound and Music Therapy. Your responsibilities include researching and creating original musical compositions and sound tapestries for use in: space voyages over two years in length, cryo-entertainment, and evolutionary therapy.

Project Assistance Needed:

Hiring: Director, Sound and Music Therapy. Update: this position has been filled.


Our very own Director of Development, Farrah Good Jacobsen, brought The Human Papoose Project to The Spacewalkers Foundation after spending three years researching and observing marsupials in their natural habitat in both New Guinea and the Australian Outback. While the specific details of this particular project are classified, when Farrah displayed a holographic prototype of a cybernetic marsupium during her commencement speech to the graduates of Stanford University last year the scientific community erupted. With this amount of controversial attention, it was only fitting that Farrah bring this project under the umbrella of TSFFEEATCOPO.

Project Assistance Needed:

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